Why are you jacking up your own car?

If you were given only one car and told that this would be the only car that you ever had, would you take care of it? If the instructions specifically said that you had to use 97 octane gas to keep it running correctly over the life, would you only use 97 octane? If the instructions said to take it in for preventative maintenance every 6 months and shouldn’t give you a problem, would you do it?

Well let me tell you how I see people taking care of their cars. A lot of the times I see these souped up cars with big, shiny wheels, candy-colored paint, and booming speaker systems, but what do these cars look like under the hood? Are people fixing up the outside of their car, but leaving the inside running like crap??? Maybe. You never know.

People are knowingly and willingly putting 87 octane into their car because it is cheaper. They say they just don’t have the money for the right fuel. People are knowingly and willingly giving their cars way more gas than it actual needs, to the point that it is spilling over into the cracks and crevices. They hear that little click that says it is full, but they just ignore it and keep feeding their tank. Now the car has a problem, it now runs terribly. And with all of the extra gas in the car, it is just that much slower.

Why, if you have the instructions for this ONE car that you will ever get, are you neglecting it? Putting a shiny coat of paint and new tires ain’t making it run better, it is just covering up the problem. The fact that your car is going slower and slower, makes you want to drives less and less, which in turn is jacking up the car more and more. And now no one even really wants to ride with you…you end up riding solo. Womp, womp, womp:(

So how do you fix the car you may wonder? Well it is going to take some time and patience. You are going to have to start feeding it with the more expensive, but performance enhancing fuel. You are going to have to take in for a check up, maybe for some repairs, but definitely for prevention. Then you are just gonna have to suck it up and take care of this car. Read the instructions…it is not as hard as you think.

why I think that being so politically correct is hurting our society...

as people, we learn in different ways. we learn from experience or we can learn from others' experiences. good or bad, right or wrong, hopefully those experiences can teach people or yourself how you want to do things the next time.

when i was a kid, (i am 28 now,) i was raised literally by a village. my village was my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, older cousins, family friends, and school people. i didn't have any personal business, everybody knew my business. everybody helped mold and shape me. and best believe, anybody could grab my butt up and whoop me if deemed necessary. the point i wanna make, is not so long ago i experienced a real community. and that community helped mold me...i do not see that at all today. we are a far more individualistic society. everything is..."i gotta do me." "i gotta get mines, u gotta get yours." and no one seems to really care about anyone else. it kinda feels like, by helping someone, you are in turn hurting yourself.

have you ever witnessed a baby drinking a Coke? a person with common sense knows that babies should NOT be drinking pop...but what do we do...NOTHING! you know why, 'cause that baby's mama will snap. we will not stop this wrong, because we are afraid of mama's reaction, though she may be hurting her child. we don't want to be nosy...basically to me, we just don't care.i am the type of person, if i see someone lifting weight wrong at the gym, i may give a friendly hint. or if kids are cussing in the hall, i will say something. or if i am on facebook i will vent about ignorance that i see. but i come off as abrasive, opinionated. i honestly think that if people DON'T speak up against ignorance, or ignore things that harm kids, or just quietly except BS...those are the people who do not care. the people who KNOW and choose to not SPEAK and help CHANGE things, are not helping. and this has helped create this "me, me, me" society that seems to be imploding.

anyone who has talked to me for any length of time, knows that i am passionate about a few things. i think that education and health are keys to a fruitful life. and i think that ignorance needs to be erradicated one dumb person at a time. they ought to be spotlighted, so that the next person can take it as a lesson to not be repeated. i think that a community is much stronger than the individual. i do not flip-flop in my stances, because my view points are anchored in MY values...like it or not, this is me. some folks may not like my delivery, but does that make my message any less true? instead of being emotional about what i write or my sometimes "flowery" language, hear my POV, and then inject yours. that kind of exchange is called communication...aint nothing wrong with that. i think that it is more dangerous to be quiet.

My message to golddiggers: DIE!

I have been dealing with bed bugs for a couple of months now. Once you get them, they are a bitch to get rid of. Bed bugs are nocturnal parasites and they feed off of blood. I am not sure what they contribute to the food chain, outside of being a nuisance, but they are here no less. I liken gold diggers to bed bugs. Both are parasites with absolutely no value to the food chain as far as I can tell. I also liken gold diggers to bed bugs because if both disappeared, I would not be sad.

Last night, I was watching this show, "Tough Love." On this show, this guy gives advice to seemingly hopeless women in an attempt to help them find love. There is this gold digger on there and I have such hatred for her and other people like her. Basically a man is no value to her unless he is rich and handsome and tall and very successful...and love is secondary. She got to crying talking about, what happens if we break up? If he has money, it will make the break up easier...I guess she feels entitled to his money after the breakup??? I don't know.

I know gold diggers feel like they are owed something for some reason...but why? Why do some people have to work to support themselves? And others get to leech off society? Who decides the group that has to be productive and which groups gets to suck the rewards from others? Leeches, parasites, welfare moms, gold diggers, dead beat dads, corrupt wall street workers, and other able-bodied people who work the system should be snuffed out. What purpose do they have if they contribute nothing and just take, Take, TAKE! We should develop a spray and fucking eradicate people parasites the same as when you get bed bugs. Bed bugs and gold diggers...just die or leave our planet.

I am a closet anti-feminist.

I will never understand the mind set of the "strong, independent woman." This is the woman that states: "I don't need a man." or "All men are dogs." or Decide that they are the pillars of our community...no, No, and NO!

I am not saying that I am not strong or independent...I am very strong. I am educated. I have my own place and a good career, but that is not my end all. I am talking about the women that go around flashing all their credentials in a man's face in an attempt to strip away his manhood. The man is the head of the household...if you found a good man. He is supposed to lead the dance, the woman should make it beautiful.

So for the women that can do everything by yourself, isn't that kinda tiresome? For the women that keep stating that they don't need a man, doesn't that make for a lonely life? For the women that keep ending up with dogs, you are what you attract.

Honestly, I treat my man like a king. I cook. I rub his back. He is definitely satisfied sexually...all because he is my man. I don't do things in order to get a tit-for-tat. I do things cause I want my man to be happy. And in return, my man takes care of me. He rubs my back when I am sore. He takes out my trash. He handles my car issues. Things will never be equal between us, because neither of us take score. I am loved and he is loved.

I am so happy that I am a woman. Cuz summa the mess that men have to claw through to get a good partner seems so silly. Y'all constantly got a woman telling you how much she doesn't need you...and you are supposed to take it. I can feel your frustration. To my good strong brothers, keep your search light on. There are other women out there that appreciate your efforts:)

If you can't afford them, why are you having them?

I just read a news article saying that schools in Albuquerque, NM was instituting a new policy that if the kids' lunches were not paid for, they would have to eat a cheese sandwich, milk, and a piece of fruit. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap..../20090225/ap_on_re_us/chee....se_sandwich_flap

My initial reaction was "damn" that is harsh. But then I had to evaluate the situation. If parents are not paying the bills for their OWN kids, then who does? Who is responsible? Should the kids have to start washing dishes to pay back the debt? And does it matter that the schools do have to pay suppliers for the food that it is serving. Aint nothing free.

My second reaction was, at least the kids are getting something to eat. Honestly, if I didn't have any money when I went to the cafeteria, I didn't expect to eat for free. That is when you hope that your friends had some extra money, or you brought something from home.Parents not paying their kids' bills teaches the kids that you can be irresponsible and not pay your bills and there won't be any repercussions. Real life doesn't work that way. You don't pay your cable bill, cable gets cut off. You don't pay rent, you get evicted. Teaching kids that there are no consequences is just flat out wrong. They will be so effed up when they get out into the real world.

My next thought on this is, since when are schools obligated to pay for kids meals? Isn't that the parents job anyways? I mean, it seems like schools are really getting more and more responsibility when it comes to raising these kids...just my opinion.

And then we got Octo-mom. This woman just rubs me completely wrong. She has absolutely no means to raise 14 kids. The taxpayers are having to shoulder her bills. Her mom is being forced to help raise these kids. And she has become some kinda freak celebrity. She is the poster child of why our welfare system needs to be reformed. Popping out babies knowing that you can't pay for them is completely un-fair to the folks that have to pay for those decisions. I understand sometimes people need help...but having kids is not a profession. And I shouldn't have to pay for others' kids and other people's effed up, self-inflicted decisions. If you can't afford them, why are you having them?

I know that my rants may come off as less than PC, but is there really a nice way to say...pay your EFFIN bills! Maybe, but I don't roll in a PC kinda way.

some deep fried garbage with some seasoning salt and cheese

i love watching the biggest loser on nbc. i am amazed at how big these people are and how the trainers help melt them away. i really want to know...how the hell do you allow urself to become that HUGE? what is the cut off? when do you finally say ENUF!?

when i was back home in oklahoma, i noticed so many overweight/obese people. i also noticed so many new restaurants and no new gyms. so that could be the reason for the obesity trend.

i have pretty much cut out fast food. fast is garbage with absolutely no nutrional value...but it is easy and convenient. i think that eating fast food is akin to eating garbage. basically if u just take that garbage, deep fry and add some cheese to it, i bet people will order and supersize it! i also think that feeding that crap to ur kids is child abuse. when u facilitate obesity and unhealthy behavior in ur kids...it is abuse. and it is abuse that can easily be detected.

on the biggest loser yesterday, there was a 454 lb man and a 372 lb woman. how is that damn possible? well the equation is simple...eat too much without burning the calories, u end up a fat sloppy mess. then u know what happens...u cry and complain that people don't want to sit beside u on a plane or that restaurant chairs are too little.

some folks may get offended by the tone of this little rant. some people will undoubtedly decide to blame some medical problem for their obesity. so people just may not wanna hear it. but keep eating that crap if you want...keep killing urself with each little tasty morsel. but ur kids should not be subjected to ur bad decisions...plain and simple.

Are you an ant or a grasshopper?

So there is an Aesop's fable about the ant and the grasshopper. Throughout the summer the ant worked and toiled and saved up food for the winter. The grasshopper sang in the field and ate what he wanted and laughed and the ant kept working so hard. The grasshopper tried to get ant to stop working and play for a little while. This only made the ant work harder.

Well the summer turned to fall, and fall turned to winter, and it was cold outside. The ant could now chill in her house and enjoy her feast of saved food. And the grasshopper died of cold and hunger. The moral of the story, "It is wise to worry about tomorrow today."

We are in a recession right now. But y'all all know that tax time is about to be here in a month. What y'all wanna bet that some silly ass person is gonna take that tax refund check and go to Vegas or buy some new cothes? What y'all wanna bet that some broke ass person is about to go drop bout $200 on an outfit for New Year's, but their furniture isn't fully paid for? What y'all wanna bet that same person is also gonna spend $100 to get into the club and $300 for bottle service at the club? This my friends is an example of the grasshopper mentality.

Then there are the ants. The people that are willing to get that refund check and pay down some back due bills. The people that instead of partying for hundreds of dollars, are throwing a get together at the house. The people that don't have to have the latest clothes, if it means putting it on a credit card. In this economic climate, we should all be ants...but you know as well as I that folks are not looking 2 days ahead, let alone a full year.

I take my lunch to work erry-day, even though I miss eating out. I forgo my love of Starbuck's Caramel Macchiato, for a simple cup of coffee that I brew at home. I have given up my mani and pedi days...sighing softly, becuz it is not in the budget. I have decided to be an ant. I already put in my plans to pay things down, Down, DOWN and the only way to honestly do that is to sacrifice. Fun can come later. Are you an ant or are you a grasshopper?

http://www.longlongtimeago.com/llta_fables_antgrasshopper.html

Quit Making Excuses!!!

I am irrtitated about this whole Plaxico Burress situation going on in New York. Number 1, I am irritated with him being a dumbass millionaire without a lick of free common sense. Number 2, I am tired of people making damn excuses for his behavior. I got this frustrated with the whole Mike Vick situation when that was going on. I am so over it...ugh! I am so over the likes of Pacman Jones, Larry Johnson, Travis Henry, Tank Johnson. Why can't they just use their talents and do their jobs? Why so much extra. Why the lack of critical thinking?

I read alot of news and blogs and general attitude about Plax is that he is dumb for shooting himself. What really, REALLY gets me is when people start making excuses and rationalizing his behavior. He did something illiegal. He was carrying an unlicensed, concealed weapon in a state that says you get 3.5 years for doing so.

So to playing devil's advocate...what should Plaxico's punishment be? Should the DA and mayor just say, never mind ur rich. Never mind, ur a Giant. My bad, u had a tough upbringing. Just playing, u caught the game winning touchdown pass in the Super Bowl. Are these good reasons to let someone off the hook? HELL NAW!!!

Why is it that hard to understand that there are consequences to ur actions. You can't just claim that you didn't know the new law existed. That doesn't hold up in the court room. You can't claim, well Sean Taylor was just killed just last year. That just gives everyone the green light to start carrying a concealed weapon. What if he had shot someone else. He was drinking that night. Thank God he only shot himself. But you know what, other folks are going down or may be going down becuz of his stupid ass decision. The club that knowingly let him in, his teammate Antonio Pierce, and the doctor that didn't report the shooting.

Now I must ask the question...was it worth it?Was the cost of foregoing a bodyguard worth the millions that you are now giving up? Was the night on the town so fun that is was worth putting other people's livelihoods in jeopardy? He obviously wasn't thinking pass that moment. I HATE STUPIDITY. STUPIDITY IS DANGEROUS ON ALL LEVELS.

Miss Independent

So Ne-yo has a song out talking about how he loves a girl because she has her own stuff. She is educated. She has her own house and a paid off car. That is fine and good, but is this really the reality? Do guys really want a completely independent woman?

I am an independent woman. I have my own place. My little scraper of a car is almost paid off. I am working on my Master's degree. But this is not my end all be all. I do not run around talking about alla my credentials and alla my bullet points that make me fab all the time, not that I am not proud of my accomplishments. The thing is, many women do. I think this could be part of the cycle that keeps Black men and Black women at odds with each other. (I know that Black men need to work out their own issues. I am chatting about us women right now.)

Y'all know that you have heard many a times, there are not enough good Black men. They are all in jail or gay or with white women. This cannot be the case. I have run into quite a few good men. I have a few good Black guy friends who are single. What the question should be, why aren't the good Black men and women finding each other?This is definitely my opinion, but I think that sometimes when we start to get more and more credentials, we develop an attitude of superiority. I can honestly say that I think I am damn catch...the difference is how we portray this attitude. You can have all the degrees in the world. You can have a nice car and house. You can be a baller, shot caller. But if you have a stank ass attitude, yo ass gonna be by yourself.I live out here in Chicago. And I have seen some stank ass females. I guess coming from a small country town where you say "hi" to people and smile, I am a little more sensitive. But summa these women out hurrr...whew, I can see why they single. Justa mean muggin, and bitchy, and bitter. And this is coming from a woman. I hate to hear what the guys are actually saying about them.

In my opinion, women should have their own. They should be able to stand without a man if need be, but recognize that you have to let the man be the man. So many women are sooo strong they think that they don't need a man for anything. I can raise my kids. I can pay my own bills. I can do this and do that...GREAT! Do that. But wouldn't that be a whole lot easier with a partner? Shit, I am tired of doing everything by my damn self. I cannot give myself a massage when I had a hard day at work. I want to be cuddled if I am feeling sick. I want sex if I am in the mood. There are just some things that that damn degree and car and house won't give you.

My American Dream Realized

When people talk of the “American Dream”, what exactly are they speaking of? This question is purely subjective and will mean something completely different for all of us. I know growing up, I wanted to be happy. I couldn’t define “happiness”, but I knew that it was NOT all about money. So how do I get to that land of something indefinable? I try to be the best me that I can be. I excel in school, graduate from college, get a good job. But is that really enough? I say, NO…it is not enough.

I say NO, because, I may have accomplished a few things in my life, but I am but a small particle in the grand universe. I am only 28 years old, but I know that the strides made in Civil Rights and for minorities and other disenfranchised people, are all fairly new. Who would have thought that only 40 years after passing Civil Right’s legislation that a day as historic as today could come around? I would never have fathomed just one year ago that a Black man would have the audacity to run for president. Let alone that white folks could actually let it happen. Just as a rapper’s album cannot go platinum without white folks buying; the same is true for Barack Obama’s chance at winning this election.

This election marks for me what the “American Dream” is about. It gives little boys and girls something that they can visualize and strive for. They actually see someone like themselves crashing through that glass ceiling that has been looming above our heads for hundreds of years. Yea, we (Black folks), may have been “allowed” to be mayors and representatives and senators…but dang y’all, we might get a Black president! I know that Barack hasn’t himself brought race into the election…but it is staring me right in the face, and I am proud. I am proud that we are finally taking a little bit of that dream for ourselves, that the majority will have to cede some of their power, and that we are at a paradigm shift of change.

I was so excited this morning when I voted. I swear to goodness it felt like Christmas when I was a little girl waiting on my parents to wake up. And even though I know that Barack will resoundingly win Illinois that is NOT the point. The point is, I made my statement. I will no longer be relegated by what others give me as being the “American Dream.” My American Dream can be shaped by me and not just what society allows. If we have to claw, pull, or take by force rights and luxuries that should have been afforded to us in the first place, then dammit, that is what we need to do. Barack did it. He wasn’t waiting on anyone to give him the green light that America was ready. He did what he needed to do, regardless of folks being ready. That alone has shifted the consciousness of America.

If you are slightly pissed about the AIG spa retreat...

So I am sure most of y’all saw that AIG folks took a nice cushy retreat to reward the bang up job they did with their company. Well, as a taxpayer, I am so thoroughly upset with them. I mean really, when is the last time anyone of you guys had a spa day? Anyways, if you are upset like I am I think that you should write a nice email to the federal board expressing your feelings. Just my two cents…for what that is worth. http://federalreserve.gov/feedback.cfm

what had happen was...

so now i get it when people say, "well it just happened." here is my story...

i have a girlfriend, J. and a few months ago J introduced me to her friend T. me and T exchanged numbers that night, but didn't really call or hang out...i didn't even worry about calling T until J just wasn't available in my time of need. anyways, long story short, me and T having been hanging out and have become good friends and J is no where in the picture. me and T have a lot in common. we are both in school. we both are very stable and kinda predictable. and we get along very well.

i feel bad becuz i have become good friends with T and we hang out without J all the time, but J is never available. she is always cancelling our plans and she is just not available anymore. T is available and consistent.

i feel like i am cheating on my friend. but it just happened, well kinda. it started out with a simple movie outing...now it has progressed into studying at coffee shops together. and neither one of us has told J about these outings. i am gonna hope that she doesn't find out. but feel like we are growing apart anyways.

so i admit, i am cheating on my friend, with a new shiny friend. and it just happened...i didn't mean to become good friends like we did. i feel soooo guilty though.

Hot pick up lines this week...

So I was coming home from work and the guy who parks beside me in the garage was getting out of his car, I spoke...cause I am nice girl. The guy told me that he was new in the building, he introduced himself, and proceeded to ask me which apartment that I lived in. WTF??? Who does that. He said that I seem nice and he wanted to have a friend in the building....nuh-uhn Larry. Not witcho African ass...gonna try and marry me or something. I told dude "No" and that I had a boyfriend. And he asked me if he lived with me. I gotta tell you, he was persistent...but ummm, no. No way ever.

Wednesday I was walking to my car so that I could get me some lunch. I was wearing some sexy ass heels and the security guy at my job noticed. He pulled up beside me in his truck and this is how the convo went....

random guy: you wear shoes like that all the time?
me: yea.
random guy: you gotta a boyfriend?
me: *busts out laffin* then I tell him, yes, I have a boyfriend. And he loves it when I wear these shoes.
random guy: Well I wanted to let you know that I liked the way you walked across the parking lot.

Not sure why the chubby security guard thought I would be impressed with that sad line...it didn't work tho.

Lastly, yesterday's sad pick up line. I am an admissions advisor for a school. This guy that clearly has a crush wanted to give me his cousin's information so that I could help him get in school. Cool...I like warm leads. But then he started to hit on me, and it was sad. He told me that right now he was riding the bus, but he was about to buy a benz. (OK...not impressed.) Then he told me that he makes FIVE figures...that's right people, FIVE figures. (OK...really not impressed.) Then he asked me to lunch, I had to nip this shit in the bud right then and there. I let him know that I appreciate the lead, but I am strictly here for school and to help folks get in and that is it. Hopefully that is it for that fake coogi jean wearing dude.

It seems like weird dudes are coming out of the wood work. It gives me a chuckle, but then it makes me wonder what kind of vibe I am putting out into the world.

a rant...and i'ma tie it all together before the end...

So I swear to goodness that I watch CNN, MSNBC, and check tha news on the net like it is my job. I feel like I am gathering research or something. But honestly, election season is very important to me. This is the third presidential election that I have been able to vote in, and I take this mess quite seriously. I take it seriously becuz I am a taxpayer, and these fools are handling my money like fcuking monopoly money.

Anyways, I was upset when Bush got elected the first time. I was living in Ohio, which is a swing state, and I couldn't believe this babbling fool won the election. Just imagine my feelings when he "won" the election the second time...I was utterly distraught. Like I was even more distraught than if Ohio State lost three national championships in a row. (That has NO bearing on my money.) But really, this fool did such a terrible job as president the first time around, that someone, and quite a few people at that, gave him the opportunity to fcuk stuff up a second time around. (Hind sight is 20-20, huh...) I hate u bitches that voted for him twice. (I hope you are happy about the state of this economy now.)

NEways...this pass week I was in training in a hotel. Each night, since I didn't have instant access to the Internet, I was running to my room to watch the status of this "Bailout" that our genius of a president came up with. I am on the fence about this...and for anyone who knows me knows that I am EXTREMELY opinionated....so it is quite weird for me to be on the fence about anything. I am conflicted becuz I do not want the American economy to completely crash. I want to be able to keep up the lifestyle that I am accustomed to. I am not living extravagantly, but comfortably. What I take exception to is people that have been living outside of their means that I am having to help rescue. I am also PISSED at CEOs and CFOs and COOs fcuking up companies, running them completely into the ground, then getting a fcuking severance package. How does any of this happen in real life?

So you are telling me that if I were to be dumb enuf to take out a loan that I couldn't handle, becuz I didn't read the conditions, becuz someone told me that I could afford it, then for some "strange" reason I can't make the payments, becuz I was always living beyond my means, that the gub-ment is gonna come in and fix all the sh1t I put myself into??!! Probably not....u know why? I do not take on more than I can handle. I realize that I have an accounting degree, but really, does it take an accounting degree to figure out that if u making fcuking $35,000 a year, u should not buy a house that cost $350,000. That is just dumb. Now we have all these foreclosures. People are just leaving their houses and neighborhoods, property taxes are down, the economy of towns is going down, down, down, and some cities are even going bankrupt....and all this mess started with dumb ass people biting off more than they can chew.

Now to the CEOs, CFOs, and COOs that are fcuking stuff up. Now I am a regular girl, working a regular job...so I can only talk for myself. But usually I get a 90 day or a semi-annually review where my manager tells me how my job performance stands versus my actual goals. I know that if I do terrible at my job, come review time, or even before, I may not have my job too long. This doesn't seem to be the same for these top execs at these toxic companies. These men are doing so terribly that they get fired or are forced to resign, but they are taking millions of dollars in severance pay. The employees that were working under them are losing their retirements and pension funds for alla their hard work, but these execs are getting paid out millions....I just don't get it. Let me just get two-weeks worth of regular pay if I get fired. ***Disclaimer*** I have never been fired for job performance...this is just an example.

So becuz of silly people who have never done a monthly budget for themselves to see how much they can actually handle, and retarded top-managers of big time companies, America is in a recession so bad that other countries are scratching their heads at us. (Didn't we use to be a damn supa power?) Now regular, responsible people who are handling their bizness and paying their taxes and bills on time are being penalized. And I still haven't figured out how this money is being spent. (If u r gonna F me hard...at least take me to dinner or sumthin...just kidding:) Naw, but if taxpayers have to rescue Wall Street and homeowners, who by my account shouldn't own a home, I should know how the money is being spent!

I am real passionate about this. I am also very passionate about the election. If you are not concerned about your money or lack thereof, then don't worry about all this silly news stuff. *sarcastic tone* But if you are concerned that gas is above $4 or that apples cost $2 a pound (I actually saw that today), and that milk is about $4 a gallon, then you better worry about your vote and who cares to make a difference. Neither candidate will be able to fix this mess immediately. It just can't happen. Bush F'd stuff up so thoroughly. But let's just all close our eyes and imagine Sarah Palin running our country if McCain died...terrible thought huh? So let's at least vote for someone that has the biggest chance of out-living his presidency...Obama 08!

I think that I tied my rant together, I think... lemme know if I forgot sumthing:)

Erry-thing is cool

I have figured it out...the secret to getting ova some shit. Just get ova it. Profound, I know. Easy...not so much. Do-able...very.

I be forgetting sometimes that I am a damn catch. Usually I got enuf self confidence for me and like 2 otha women...but I forgot that for a minute. Well I got my swagga back. Folks betta be ready:) Naw, just kidding...I use my powers for good, not evil.

A lil bit of time can make things better...

ok, so a coupla of weeks ago, i was a mess. all crying and stuff over me and my guy breaking up. okey dokey, well i am a lil bit better now. i am not crying at least, that is a good start. i am trying like hell to move on. i started a new position at my job. i am still working out. i am in school. so i am working on me. i just gotta work on the whole social thing. i can't stay in the house like i been doing.

i don't wanna jump into something serious. i just need to be around people. i just gotta figure out where to go now that i am not crying. if i would have gone out a couple of weeks ago, i would have scared people. now i am approachable again.

breaking up sux

my breathing has not been the same since me and my guy broke up. i have to make an extra effort to breathe right. i miss him. i feel like part of me is gone.

it is bad during quiet times, during those times when i am alone. but at the same time i don't want to be around other people. i just want to be with him. so i end up being home, by myself.

i really gotta get out of this funk. i am sad, but the rational side of me knows that it is not the end of the world. but the rational side is being over-rule by the emotional side. i think that me and him can work it out...i just think it will take some time. dang, i miss him.

My emotions and actions coincide.

I wear my emotions. I am honest like that. Good or bad, you know how I am feeling just by looking at me or talking to me. One thing that I have noticed about me is that I allow other folk's energy to affect my energy. I may wake up ridiculously happy and sunshine-y, but just as soon as I encounter someone else's rain and clouds, my disposition changes.

At the beginning of the year, I vowed to be positive. I decided that I was gonna be happy and all that good stuff. And it is not even the end of the year and I am already breaking my resolution to myself. My energy is all off. I am cussing. I got this stress building up in my stomach that is eating me up.

I gots to change something quick, fast, and in a hurry. Being unhappy and stressed doesn't even sound like me...cuz it ain't me. I'ma do me and make me happy first and foremost, err-body else can get in line.

I am only typing this to keep a record for myself. You know, it's easier to keep a goal if you have something to hold yourself accountable. And this blog of mine helps me remember. Sometimes we get so busy in our lives that we forget things, small things. But even a lil bit of negativity is too much. And even a tad bit of happiness should be relished.

Peace y'all

Education is OK! I promise it won't hurt you.

I just recently got this note:

"well name deon deontae nice to meet u i hope u not rude in read my note in not reply back ? but i type to u so u can't say u don't no me but i tell u about me so u can reply back to me unless u a judgemental person in very mean than that not good ,because thing can come back at you but a lil about me is yes i am in school i am going to two school kennedy king in depaul university i play ball baseball in basketball love to talk in cook , getout have fun move around don't take bull %&@$! from no one hate a lier a cheateron game fake %&@$! hoe %&@$! what ever they want to be call i am cool calm laid back person i love to talk in listen dance get around walk explore love the kids that one thing about me love the kids lol i have a daughter she is 7 months that my world um i am tall 6'1 favor color is blue in green in food well i have no favor food in i don't have no women i am in single in ok about it um i don;t smoke or drinkThank's$"

Number one, can anyone decipher what this fool is saying? Number two, how in the world did he graduate high school, let alone get into someone's college? OMG, this is what single women have to look forward to. And folks wonder why we say there are no eligible men. If this counts as an eligible man, we are all in trouble! Someone should slap this fool with a book and make him workout with a computer.

Hook a brotha up....

My side hustle is doing locs, I do my own hair and I know how to help people maintain theirs. I was at my real job a few weeks ago when I met a guy that asked me to do his hair. Cool, I could always use a few extra dollars. I told him how much I charge and a little while later, he called to make an appointment. During this convo, dude was trying to get me to lower the price, (which is lower than it is here in Chicago.) Basically this dude wanted me to hook him up. This dude that I had ONE previous conversation with.

Why is it that people always expect something for nothing? It is so irritating. In the end, he ended up talking me down $10.

Even though this is a side hustle, for me this is a source of income. How would it sound if someone's boss ask them to work an extra hour for free to save the company some money? That person would say, Hell no!!! Or can a person go to the grocery store and just ask for $20 off, just randomly? Probably not. So why do people think that they can get over on regular folks?

Well I am over it. No more Miss Nice Lady. I can't hook you up. It is not my responsibility to save you money. I am trying to make money my damn self. I'm sure that this is not an isolated situation. I know that everyone knows somebody that is trying to get a hook up. Just say NO though!