Can a woman really have it all?

So I am about to make a blanket statement. Most people want to be successful, make money, and achieve something in life. Now if you are a woman, you have the added pressure of having a biological clock, going tick-tock tick-tock. Anyways, I was wondering can a woman really have a successful, fulfilling career and a happy family? Is it really possible to have it all?

One day, I was sitting at home during the day and I saw one of those daytime shows, Oprah, Dr. Phil, one of 'em, I can't remember. Anyways, the show was about career moms vs. stay-at-home moms. (Those stay-at-home moms can be kind of militant.)

So the stay-at-home moms are happy with sacrificing for their family. They feel that the happiest career is one of mother-hood and being a wife. Many of these women were educated. Some used to have a career. But all were on the same accord of thinking that mothers should be in the house.

The career moms all wanted to be both mothers and career women. They all felt that having a career fulfilled them, which allowed them to bring more to the household. They could not see dedicating their whole lives to their kids because they didn't lose themselves.
Listening to the stay-at-home moms, you would think that career moms were the most selfish people on the earth since they wanted a life outside of the home. You would think that these kids are getting abused because their mothers' work. It was so weird.

I am under the impression that I can have it all. Well at least I'ma try. I have worked too hard in school and my career to just completely give it up. And as a woman, I am also hearing that biological clock starting to tick. Anyways, why can't we do it all? We are taught to be successful in school. Is working ok just until we get a husband? I think not. I will not be a chauffuer, personal assistant, and homemaker with a bachelor's degree. It just ain't happening. How in the world can I start asking my husband for an allowance because I no longer have my own money? Ummmm, I think not. I am gonna try my damndest to have it all.

Can a guy with a rotation of women be marriage material?

I have this guy friend. He is always telling me that he wants a girlfriend, but then in the same breathe he tells me about all the women he has in his "rotation." He talks about how lonely he is, then he tells me about going to the club to meet women. I am honestly confused about this guy. I kinda think that he has dual personalities.

He is the classic narcissist. Everything with him is, "me, me, me." He plays with these girls head. He calls one of them up when the need suits him, but cringes when one of them calls him up. He really doesn't understand that these girls actually have feelings, because he has absolutely NONE for them. They are a temporary play thing until the newest play thing comes along.

My boy, he tells me he wants to be married. I think that he is serious too. I really don't think that he understands that you can't be a player, then all of a sudden be marriage material.

The sad thing about this scenario, is that I know for certain that this is not an isolated incident. It is sad, but people play with folk's emotions and feelings all the time. And alot of the time it is just a game.

I told my boy that he is a predator. I know this is a harsh label, but I think that it fits. He is a smart guy, good job, responsible, goes to church, but knowingly messes with girls' heads. He knows that he is wrong, but can't see past his own needs.

I guess that whole Golden Rule thing, "Do unto to others...", doesn't really reasonate with everybody. I think that people who constantly hurt people will eventually gets theirs ten-fold. Karma is a bitch. And people who constantly f* people over, hopefully, will feel exactly what they dish out. It is a good thing that I am not in charge of doling out Karma, because somebody could get hurt.

If you want....

If you want to be interesting, be interested. If you want to be heard, listen.

If you wish to truly learn, teach. If you would like to be wealthy, be generous.

If you desire to be understood, take the time to understand. If you want to have many friends, be friendly.

If you want the world to change for the better, make a positive change in yourself. If you long for peace, be peaceful.

What you give to life is what life becomes for you. The treasures you accumulate all come from the good things you do.

Every day is your opportunity to raise your life to a higher level by giving the best that you have. Whatever it is you desire, give it, be it, support it, and you will enjoy it in great abundance.

-- Ralph Marston

I saw this quote today and I thought that it would be nice to share. If we could all live like this, imagine how happy we would be.

How well do you take constructive criticism?

At work we get reviewed on our performance. Someone looks at our target, looks at our work, and sees exactly how close you came to hitting that target. It is very black and white when it comes down to money and business. But still, who really likes to have themselves broken down like that? Now mind you, if your review is great, you are pumped. Or if you have the right attitude, you can use that review as a motivational tool. Or you can do the complete opposite and think that someone is picking on you. And I think that this is how many people are in everyday life.

It took me many, many years to learn how to take constructive criticism. And I still don't take it that well. But I do listen. My girlfriends used to tell that my mouth was outta control. It took a lot of practice, but I learned how to tone it down a little bit. My ex-boyfriend taught me how to apologize when I was wrong. He did that just by apologizing when he was wrong. (Very profound.) I also learned that I could be too critical and too black and white when it comes to assessing problems. How did I come to learn all this about myself? I listened to other folks. I took their opinions with a grain of salt, implemented what I deemed fit, and moved on.

Now obviously you can't take advice from just anyone. Hopefully the folks that you are listening have your best interests in mind. But even with that being said your "friends" and family will think that you are hatin'. I just wrote a blog about being honest, and most folks said that they would prefer honesty. I say, "yea right" to that. Don't no one want to know that they need an attitude adjustment. Don't no one want to know that their mate is a loser. Don't no one want to know that they speak/act/dress inappropriately at work. But from constructive, from the heart advice, is how people grow. I am a testament to that. I am by no means perfect. I am constantly growing and changing and tweeking things about me. Folks gotta be open to do the same.

Peace y'all.

Is honesty really the best policy?

Is honesty really the best policy?

Is a little white lie okay sometimes?

Does anyone really, really, want to know someone's honest opinion?

These are some hard questions and I don't really know the answers. I do know, however, that if you ask a question, you should definitely prepare yourself for an honest answer. For example, if a woman asks her man,"Do I look fat in this?", he could possibly say "yes." Or another toughy is when you ask a man if he is seeing other women. You kinda gotta prepare yourself for his honest response. (I am speaking from experience here.) These are obvious times where you have to be careful what you ask for.

Now where it gets a little tricky is if your opinion was not solicited. Here are a coupla of situations. Ask yourself how you would really handle them.

1. You really can't stand your best friend's new man. You see him watching other women. He is kinda hitting on you. But she thinks that he is the best thing going. On one hand, she may appreciate your insight. On the other hand, she might think that you are jealous because you don't have a man.

2. Your co-worker wears clothes that are completely inappropiate to work. You can see that people stare, even the manager. But you think to yourself, is it really my business to comment on someone else's wardrobe? Or do I keep letting people talk about my co-worker?

3. Your friend's weave/hairstyle/haircut/hair color looks completely stupid/inappropriate/unproffesional. Do you tell him or her? You know some people are really sensitive about their hair. But at the same time, how much of a friend are you if you let them leave out the house looking a hot mess?

4. Last situation, you really like someone, you click on all levels. This person understands you, seems to genuinely care about you, but you have a slight issue with the person. Let's say that the person is slightly chubbier/skinnier/smellier/shorter/taller than you are usually attracted to. What do you do? Do you try to get over these issues because the personality overshadows? Or are you honest with yourself and the person in the very beginning? (And don't be all self-righteous like looks aren't kinda important.)

I dunno the answers to these questions. I do know that folks really don't wanna hear anything negative about themselves. But at the same time, if you care for someone are you obligated to tell the truth? Please feel free you comment.

What I want...

I want to soak up the sun because it gives life.

I want to play hooky from work on a work day and act like I have no worries.

I want to put on a flowy dress and twirl like a ballerina just because I'm a girl.

I want watch cartoons all day in my PJ's eating junk food on a Saturday.

I want to stay in a hotel downtown and act like a tourist on vacation.

I want to loved and be loved like in the fairy tales.

I want to keep my friends and family close to my heart because, otherwise what is the point?

I want to have absolutely no regrets when it comes to the life I lead.

What do you want? What steps are you taking to get there?

So I am technically obese. Dammit!

I stay in the gym. This is something that has been a part of my life for the last few years. It makes me feel good and I feel healthier. Here lately I have also been changing my eating habits because just working out wasn't working. I wasn't seeing any visble results. And I do consider myself pretty healthy. I can run 4 miles in an hour. I lift weights. I workout 4-5 days a week. So imagine my surprise when I saw the numbers that told me that I was still obese. (Dammit!)

So I normally wouldn't release these numbers, but it is for the greater good. I am 5 feet and 3/4 of an inch tall and I weigh 170 lbs. According to the BMI calculator and this stupid little machine, my BMI is 32.4, which technically makes me obese. (Not very good news.) Actually, it kinda sucks. I was doing the calculations, I would have to get down to 155 lbs just to be considered only overweight. I haven't seen 155 lbs since high school, so I am not sure if that number can be hit again. Now I say all this to say, do you know your number? Even if that stupid little machine or calculator isn't looking at my body type, or the fact that Black men love my butt and thighs, or that both sides of my family has weight issues, I know that I can stand to lose a few pounds.

Most people are scared to get bad news. They would rather stay in the dark about what their health is. Why do you think that so many people avoid the doctor and the dentist? Because they just don't wanna know. Once you hear the news, it becomes real, then you have to make a decision. Do you continue on the path of unhealthiness, or do you change course? It is just easier to stay in the dark, right?

In Florida, one school district started sending out letters to parents telling them if their kids were at an unhealthy weight. I'm sure that you can guess the reaction. These parents were pissed. Pissed 'cause, according to one parent, they don't want people saying negative things about their kids. I do not think that that is the real reason. I think that the report is a reflection of the parents. (Just an opinion.) But who is really responsible for what kids eat? Who instills health and healthy behavior into kids? Shouldn't that start at home? Then one of the parents blamed the school for lack of gym and food selection at school. Ok that is probably a part of the situation. But really who has the most control, the school or the parents? Or better yet, who has the most responsibility, the school or the parents?

If folks don't wanna know their own numbers, fine. Trust me, it sux to find out that you are obese. But finding out that you kids are obese and doing nothing but blaming the school is tantamount to child abuse. You wouldn't deny your kids medicine if you knew that that would help any other condition. So why is this any different?
So after my little soapbox sermon, the bottom line is know your number and know your kid's number. Maybe these numbers will shock us into some action!