My emotions and actions coincide.

I wear my emotions. I am honest like that. Good or bad, you know how I am feeling just by looking at me or talking to me. One thing that I have noticed about me is that I allow other folk's energy to affect my energy. I may wake up ridiculously happy and sunshine-y, but just as soon as I encounter someone else's rain and clouds, my disposition changes.

At the beginning of the year, I vowed to be positive. I decided that I was gonna be happy and all that good stuff. And it is not even the end of the year and I am already breaking my resolution to myself. My energy is all off. I am cussing. I got this stress building up in my stomach that is eating me up.

I gots to change something quick, fast, and in a hurry. Being unhappy and stressed doesn't even sound like me...cuz it ain't me. I'ma do me and make me happy first and foremost, err-body else can get in line.

I am only typing this to keep a record for myself. You know, it's easier to keep a goal if you have something to hold yourself accountable. And this blog of mine helps me remember. Sometimes we get so busy in our lives that we forget things, small things. But even a lil bit of negativity is too much. And even a tad bit of happiness should be relished.

Peace y'all

Education is OK! I promise it won't hurt you.

I just recently got this note:

"well name deon deontae nice to meet u i hope u not rude in read my note in not reply back ? but i type to u so u can't say u don't no me but i tell u about me so u can reply back to me unless u a judgemental person in very mean than that not good ,because thing can come back at you but a lil about me is yes i am in school i am going to two school kennedy king in depaul university i play ball baseball in basketball love to talk in cook , getout have fun move around don't take bull %&@$! from no one hate a lier a cheateron game fake %&@$! hoe %&@$! what ever they want to be call i am cool calm laid back person i love to talk in listen dance get around walk explore love the kids that one thing about me love the kids lol i have a daughter she is 7 months that my world um i am tall 6'1 favor color is blue in green in food well i have no favor food in i don't have no women i am in single in ok about it um i don;t smoke or drinkThank's$"

Number one, can anyone decipher what this fool is saying? Number two, how in the world did he graduate high school, let alone get into someone's college? OMG, this is what single women have to look forward to. And folks wonder why we say there are no eligible men. If this counts as an eligible man, we are all in trouble! Someone should slap this fool with a book and make him workout with a computer.

Hook a brotha up....

My side hustle is doing locs, I do my own hair and I know how to help people maintain theirs. I was at my real job a few weeks ago when I met a guy that asked me to do his hair. Cool, I could always use a few extra dollars. I told him how much I charge and a little while later, he called to make an appointment. During this convo, dude was trying to get me to lower the price, (which is lower than it is here in Chicago.) Basically this dude wanted me to hook him up. This dude that I had ONE previous conversation with.

Why is it that people always expect something for nothing? It is so irritating. In the end, he ended up talking me down $10.

Even though this is a side hustle, for me this is a source of income. How would it sound if someone's boss ask them to work an extra hour for free to save the company some money? That person would say, Hell no!!! Or can a person go to the grocery store and just ask for $20 off, just randomly? Probably not. So why do people think that they can get over on regular folks?

Well I am over it. No more Miss Nice Lady. I can't hook you up. It is not my responsibility to save you money. I am trying to make money my damn self. I'm sure that this is not an isolated situation. I know that everyone knows somebody that is trying to get a hook up. Just say NO though!

Can a woman really have it all?

So I am about to make a blanket statement. Most people want to be successful, make money, and achieve something in life. Now if you are a woman, you have the added pressure of having a biological clock, going tick-tock tick-tock. Anyways, I was wondering can a woman really have a successful, fulfilling career and a happy family? Is it really possible to have it all?

One day, I was sitting at home during the day and I saw one of those daytime shows, Oprah, Dr. Phil, one of 'em, I can't remember. Anyways, the show was about career moms vs. stay-at-home moms. (Those stay-at-home moms can be kind of militant.)

So the stay-at-home moms are happy with sacrificing for their family. They feel that the happiest career is one of mother-hood and being a wife. Many of these women were educated. Some used to have a career. But all were on the same accord of thinking that mothers should be in the house.

The career moms all wanted to be both mothers and career women. They all felt that having a career fulfilled them, which allowed them to bring more to the household. They could not see dedicating their whole lives to their kids because they didn't lose themselves.
Listening to the stay-at-home moms, you would think that career moms were the most selfish people on the earth since they wanted a life outside of the home. You would think that these kids are getting abused because their mothers' work. It was so weird.

I am under the impression that I can have it all. Well at least I'ma try. I have worked too hard in school and my career to just completely give it up. And as a woman, I am also hearing that biological clock starting to tick. Anyways, why can't we do it all? We are taught to be successful in school. Is working ok just until we get a husband? I think not. I will not be a chauffuer, personal assistant, and homemaker with a bachelor's degree. It just ain't happening. How in the world can I start asking my husband for an allowance because I no longer have my own money? Ummmm, I think not. I am gonna try my damndest to have it all.

Can a guy with a rotation of women be marriage material?

I have this guy friend. He is always telling me that he wants a girlfriend, but then in the same breathe he tells me about all the women he has in his "rotation." He talks about how lonely he is, then he tells me about going to the club to meet women. I am honestly confused about this guy. I kinda think that he has dual personalities.

He is the classic narcissist. Everything with him is, "me, me, me." He plays with these girls head. He calls one of them up when the need suits him, but cringes when one of them calls him up. He really doesn't understand that these girls actually have feelings, because he has absolutely NONE for them. They are a temporary play thing until the newest play thing comes along.

My boy, he tells me he wants to be married. I think that he is serious too. I really don't think that he understands that you can't be a player, then all of a sudden be marriage material.

The sad thing about this scenario, is that I know for certain that this is not an isolated incident. It is sad, but people play with folk's emotions and feelings all the time. And alot of the time it is just a game.

I told my boy that he is a predator. I know this is a harsh label, but I think that it fits. He is a smart guy, good job, responsible, goes to church, but knowingly messes with girls' heads. He knows that he is wrong, but can't see past his own needs.

I guess that whole Golden Rule thing, "Do unto to others...", doesn't really reasonate with everybody. I think that people who constantly hurt people will eventually gets theirs ten-fold. Karma is a bitch. And people who constantly f* people over, hopefully, will feel exactly what they dish out. It is a good thing that I am not in charge of doling out Karma, because somebody could get hurt.

If you want....

If you want to be interesting, be interested. If you want to be heard, listen.

If you wish to truly learn, teach. If you would like to be wealthy, be generous.

If you desire to be understood, take the time to understand. If you want to have many friends, be friendly.

If you want the world to change for the better, make a positive change in yourself. If you long for peace, be peaceful.

What you give to life is what life becomes for you. The treasures you accumulate all come from the good things you do.

Every day is your opportunity to raise your life to a higher level by giving the best that you have. Whatever it is you desire, give it, be it, support it, and you will enjoy it in great abundance.

-- Ralph Marston

I saw this quote today and I thought that it would be nice to share. If we could all live like this, imagine how happy we would be.

How well do you take constructive criticism?

At work we get reviewed on our performance. Someone looks at our target, looks at our work, and sees exactly how close you came to hitting that target. It is very black and white when it comes down to money and business. But still, who really likes to have themselves broken down like that? Now mind you, if your review is great, you are pumped. Or if you have the right attitude, you can use that review as a motivational tool. Or you can do the complete opposite and think that someone is picking on you. And I think that this is how many people are in everyday life.

It took me many, many years to learn how to take constructive criticism. And I still don't take it that well. But I do listen. My girlfriends used to tell that my mouth was outta control. It took a lot of practice, but I learned how to tone it down a little bit. My ex-boyfriend taught me how to apologize when I was wrong. He did that just by apologizing when he was wrong. (Very profound.) I also learned that I could be too critical and too black and white when it comes to assessing problems. How did I come to learn all this about myself? I listened to other folks. I took their opinions with a grain of salt, implemented what I deemed fit, and moved on.

Now obviously you can't take advice from just anyone. Hopefully the folks that you are listening have your best interests in mind. But even with that being said your "friends" and family will think that you are hatin'. I just wrote a blog about being honest, and most folks said that they would prefer honesty. I say, "yea right" to that. Don't no one want to know that they need an attitude adjustment. Don't no one want to know that their mate is a loser. Don't no one want to know that they speak/act/dress inappropriately at work. But from constructive, from the heart advice, is how people grow. I am a testament to that. I am by no means perfect. I am constantly growing and changing and tweeking things about me. Folks gotta be open to do the same.

Peace y'all.