Miss Independent

So Ne-yo has a song out talking about how he loves a girl because she has her own stuff. She is educated. She has her own house and a paid off car. That is fine and good, but is this really the reality? Do guys really want a completely independent woman?

I am an independent woman. I have my own place. My little scraper of a car is almost paid off. I am working on my Master's degree. But this is not my end all be all. I do not run around talking about alla my credentials and alla my bullet points that make me fab all the time, not that I am not proud of my accomplishments. The thing is, many women do. I think this could be part of the cycle that keeps Black men and Black women at odds with each other. (I know that Black men need to work out their own issues. I am chatting about us women right now.)

Y'all know that you have heard many a times, there are not enough good Black men. They are all in jail or gay or with white women. This cannot be the case. I have run into quite a few good men. I have a few good Black guy friends who are single. What the question should be, why aren't the good Black men and women finding each other?This is definitely my opinion, but I think that sometimes when we start to get more and more credentials, we develop an attitude of superiority. I can honestly say that I think I am damn catch...the difference is how we portray this attitude. You can have all the degrees in the world. You can have a nice car and house. You can be a baller, shot caller. But if you have a stank ass attitude, yo ass gonna be by yourself.I live out here in Chicago. And I have seen some stank ass females. I guess coming from a small country town where you say "hi" to people and smile, I am a little more sensitive. But summa these women out hurrr...whew, I can see why they single. Justa mean muggin, and bitchy, and bitter. And this is coming from a woman. I hate to hear what the guys are actually saying about them.

In my opinion, women should have their own. They should be able to stand without a man if need be, but recognize that you have to let the man be the man. So many women are sooo strong they think that they don't need a man for anything. I can raise my kids. I can pay my own bills. I can do this and do that...GREAT! Do that. But wouldn't that be a whole lot easier with a partner? Shit, I am tired of doing everything by my damn self. I cannot give myself a massage when I had a hard day at work. I want to be cuddled if I am feeling sick. I want sex if I am in the mood. There are just some things that that damn degree and car and house won't give you.